Thanks, I just want to stop feeling like I don't know who I am Will that ever happen? I sure hope. Matildy
Matilda Wormwood
JoinedPosts by Matilda Wormwood
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15
Confused and upset
by Matilda Wormwood inbehind me is a beast .
composed of doubt .
it is huge and mighty .
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15
Confused and upset
by Matilda Wormwood inbehind me is a beast .
composed of doubt .
it is huge and mighty .
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Matilda Wormwood
Behind me is a beast
Composed of doubt
It is huge and mighty
Breathing down my neck
Visions of shadow flicker through my eyes
I don’t know if the things I am seeing are real.
Those that opposed me are shown in true light
These are ones I have relied on
Yet now withdraw their hand of friendship
If I continue to hang on
will I fall to the chasm growing between us?
Those in power may listen yet
But how do I console myself
When a part of myself is torn away?
My decision
My decision
My decision is
I don’t know what to decide.
So that beast consumes my thoughts
Dragging me down
Friendships decay
Bridges burn
Who am I if half of me is now gone?
My Own Soul and Tofu are taking each other to court-
on one side will be me, Roller, and probably most of the other people from the point. On the other will be HH, an old family friend who I'll call Omega, Dr. Bunnybabbit, DF, and tons of other people.
In my previous situation, I pretended I liked HighHorse. I pretended too well- while I know I don't like her, part of me is used to the charade- it was as easy as breathing. Now I'll have to sit in a court room and I have no idea what is expected of me. I always just wanted to move out when I was 18 and have HH not know any better.
Omega will be there. She is an old family friend, and used to be My Own Soul's friend, until she helped with a move and everything went downhill. Now she's helping Tofu but I'm so confused. When I think of her, I think of a friendly over-the-top second mother. That's how she always was, and how she treats me now. I don't know what to make of it. I want her to somehow switch sides- but the fact that she has decided seems irrevocable. I want more than anything to retain my relationship with her- but I don't want to betray my morals. With HH, I only had small amounts of affection, and I pretended the rest. But Omega always was and feels like she still is a second mother- I don't love her as much as mom, and I never will, but how can I give that up? Should I? RD says shes a con artist and a snake, and intellectually I agree with him- But I can't stop mourning for a loss I feel coming up.
The court meeting is Tuesday, and it may not decide everything, but it will start the process. How can I make everything right, and still feel I made the right decision?
On a slightly brighter note, I had a dream that the court meeting had started, and on dad's side there was HH, Omega, Dr. Bunnybabbit, DF, and a couple others I didn't recognize. On mom's (My Own Soul)side, there was Rollerdave, Mrs Roller, Rollerdaughter, Gopher, everyone else from the point (I don't know their nicknames, but it's like 5 more peeps) and like all of the people from JWD. Dad and HH were looking like they were about to piss their pants. I thought it was funny.
I wish all decisions in life were easy.
Sincerely,
Matilda-er
Tildy- I mean
Matily?
No, maybe...
Matilda Wormwood. -
26
Yay! first post ever!!
by Matilda Wormwood inmy name is matilda, and i just started a jwd account.
i know some other posters- rollerdave, my uncle, gopher (he visits roller), and my mom, my own soul.
since she's making a record in delaying posting because she wants to write a novel, i thought i'd get in here and start.
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Matilda Wormwood
I've got to go to the evil wormwood house- I'll post when I can, but chances are I won't be able to until I visit roller's again. I hope to talk with all of you soon!! Roller talks to me everyday so he has the inside scoop. thanks for reading!
Matildy
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26
Yay! first post ever!!
by Matilda Wormwood inmy name is matilda, and i just started a jwd account.
i know some other posters- rollerdave, my uncle, gopher (he visits roller), and my mom, my own soul.
since she's making a record in delaying posting because she wants to write a novel, i thought i'd get in here and start.
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Matilda Wormwood
Wow, roller was right, JWD is friendly! Ty for the posts! I visit the point every other weekend and on some holidays, and I can't safely post with HH and Tofu around. So my posting will be slightly sporadic. I look forward to becoming part of this comunity!
And Rollerdaughter told me her online name is Rollerdaughter, and pouted that I didn't mention her, so- hey rollerdaughter, i'm mentioning you. Mrs. Roller is awesome too!
TY all!
Matildy
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26
Yay! first post ever!!
by Matilda Wormwood inmy name is matilda, and i just started a jwd account.
i know some other posters- rollerdave, my uncle, gopher (he visits roller), and my mom, my own soul.
since she's making a record in delaying posting because she wants to write a novel, i thought i'd get in here and start.
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Matilda Wormwood
Hello!
My name is Matilda, and I just started a JWD account. I know some other posters- Rollerdave, my uncle, Gopher (he visits roller), and my mom, My Own Soul. Since she's making a record in delaying posting because she wants to write a novel, I thought I'd get in here and start. Roller is listening to some pretty rocking music, and I'm visiting the Point. I don't have a lot of connection to the witnesses- My grandma is one, as is an acquaintance at school. I mostly got convinced to post here because Dave says it's like a close-nit family, and I could always use that support.
I live with my dad and step-mom, Tofu and Little Miss Princess Highhorse (or HH for short.) My other uncle, who I don't acknowledge relation to, lives in the basement there. His name is DF (dave'll tell you what it means ) and he scares me. I try to avoid him at all costs, so hopefully I won't have anything to post on him. My mom, *cough catlady cough*, excuse me, My Own Soul, lives here at Dave's, after Tofu and HH sending so many predators at her that she couldn't settle down. There are other, uh, "characters" I'll add later.
Rollerdave says I'm abused, my dad says I'm manipulating and selfish, and I don't know what I am. I don't want to be a bad person, but sometimes I don't know. On other, slightly more bright topics, I'm a Junior in high-school, and I average B-, B+. I'm learning sign language and trying to learn Japanese, and although I'm in Algebra 2, it's not as great as it sounds- I barely can stay afloat.
That does describe me pretty much. Jeeze, when you put it all down like that, my personality sounds as flat as the screen it's displayed on (all LCD flat-screens here, oh yeah). Comments are welcome!
sign off thingy,
Matilda.